• Christ and Church Life and Building Spirit and Bride


    As a lover of Christ and a pursuer of truth, I write down my joys, memories and reflections.

    May God lead us all into the secret of His presence, and build us into the oneness of His body in love.
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Something about marriage

Having not been married makes me a theorist; below is my humble attempt to address one of the most common, almost mundane, yet most mysterious subjects in humanity.

The union of a husband and a wife typifies the relationship between Christ and the church.

Christ loves the church to the uttermost and died for His bride; the church belongs to, submits to, enjoys, and partakes of Christ as her Husband. This universal couple will fully mingle and mutually abide to each other for eternity.

Mutual commitment is the solid ground and soil.

Whereas baptism, which publicly declares one’s confession to Christ’s as Savior and one’s acceptance to Christ’s redemptive death, fulfills God’s righteous requirements and serves as the solid foundation of Christian experience, the mutual unfading and unconditional commitments, a decision based on thorough consideration and a free will, is the solid soil and foundation for a marriage to thrive, flourish and grow.

The growth in life accompanies the issue of love, and love nurtures the growth of the loved.

By knowing God as love, one may learn to love another; by loving another, one may understand God’s love toward humanity. The genuine and proper love toward even just one person on this earth marks one’s growth and maturity in life. More anything else, love always cares, hopes, anticipates, desires, and causes the mental and spiritual growth of the loved by dispensing, extending and enlarging oneself to the other. Love is the sole effective agent for a couple to respect, submit to, mingle with, and build up with each other.

The definitions of love in 1 Corinthians 13 are necessary to a successful marriage:

  1. Love suffers long. Love suffers on behalf of the loved with much mindfulness.
  2. Love is the genuine kindness out of a clean and pure heart.
  3. Love behaves properly, and it does not seek its own interests.
  4. Love is not provoked; outburst of anger marks the lack of love.
  5. Love accommodates all things, forgives, and covers a multitude of transgressions and offenses.
  6. Love believes, hopes, and endures all things.

Love is the miraculous way to experience the resurrection power.

  1. Loving God with our whole heart, strength, soul, and mind is actually the only way for one to genuinely love another human being, in this case, your counterpart.
  2. Love is always the first one to give up oneself, to take up the cross, to deny the soul-life, and to give total acceptance and engagement toward the other. This is the ultimate solution to all conflicts.
  3. Love brings in comfort, confidence and courage to the loved, and drives fear away.
  4. Love changes and transforms the unchangeable.
  5. Love tears down the self-barriers between the couple, and it grounds, mingles, knits, and builds two into one.
  6. Love never leaves and never gives up; love is always constructive, and never destructive.

The single most important practice in marriage is listening, not speaking.

Love is manifested and multiplied through good communication in the spirit and attitude of openness, along with the outward actions of listening. Good listening requires one’s the total concentration on the speaker, the discipline of bracketing, and the temporary total acceptance of the other by setting aside one’s won prejudices, preference, desire, or agenda. True listening unifies the speaker and the listener and extends one to the other.

Love is not just abstract feelings but practical actions.

  1. The glory of the marriage lies in holding Christ as the Head, which means the denial of one’s soul-life, and the setting aside of one’s opinions and preferences in honor of the communion.
  2. Always fellowship, pray, and read the words together; never wage a “cold” war for an extended time period; never fight or argue in fury, which may mark regrettable scars.
  3. Courteous expressions should always be uttered; cursing and offensive words stir the flesh and invites Satan’s attacks.
  4. While taking account of evil and the shortcomings of the other creates unending strife, good and positive thinking toward the other is the heuristic solution to most conflicts.
  5. Paradoxically, respecting and caring for the other’s independence, decisions, privacy, goals and freedom nurtures the oneness and inter-dependence of the marriage.
  6. Loving and caring for each other’s family bring in much blessings and grace.

My conclusion:

Love is sacred, consuming, and selective because it requires object and response. Marriage, in one setting, stimulates love, grace, life, growth, building, and maturity between the husband and wife in a miraculous and effective way. A marriage will surely encounter difficulties and tough challenges, but life also grows with overflowing love and abundant grace. God’s economy is to dispense life into man, to cause the growth, and to build the humanity into oneness; and there is no better starting point than marriage. With this view, marriage is the sacred opportunity arranged and designed by God to teach us the meaning of love, life, and building. In the end, all things point to God; all knowledge, murmuring and reasoning will render useless, but love remains and prevails.v

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