• Christ and Church Life and Building Spirit and Bride


    As a lover of Christ and a pursuer of truth, I write down my joys, memories and reflections.

    May God lead us all into the secret of His presence, and build us into the oneness of His body in love.
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Some reflections on my recent conditions

Oh Lord Jesus. I am open to You.
Do shine on me and enlighten me.
I am poor, low and humble before You.
Fill me Lord with Your life.
Drive away all the death and negative elements.

  1. Concerning the dilemma between prophesying and showing off: Sometime when I sense my pride right before my speaking, I would stop. It is partially because I don’t want to develop self-satisfaction and partially because I don’t want to be too standing out among the groups. The solution is that while I am sensitive to my self, stopping speaking is not the right way to deal with my pride or the motive to show off. I still need to speak according to the burden the Lord put in me with boldness. If, during the speaking, I feel some fleshy emotions coming up, or some pride thought coming in, I can deal with them before the Lord later. On the one hand, this way can help me to identify my problem more easily since I choose not to hide or deny the problem. On the other hand, I would be less likely to block the flow of the Spirit through me.
  2. Concerning the dilemma between seeing the problems in the church and not over-crossing my measure to “fix” or “heal” them: First of all, I need to realize the fact I cannot see through every situation. Hence, it is not possible to make the righteous judgment, especially the right is not given to me to judge. Secondly, I need to obey God’s deputy authority, even trust and submit to them. I need to flexible, opinion-less, and selfless in my coordination with the serving ones. I need to be clear what my measure and boundary of service is. However, there is one thing I can do. I can go to the Lord for intimate fellowship so as to receive burdens from the Lord. As long as my motive are pure, and my burdens are real, I can prophecize for the Lord in boldness, humility, and love. My motive needs to be examines carefully, my emotions need to stabilized, my conscience needs to be clean, and my attitude should not be judging but be loving. In this way, I give all my effort and trust to the Lord, and I cast all my anxieties to Him. He is would be the Initiator, the Keeper, and the Finisher in every matter. And He gains all the glory. I believe if I can give myself to the Lord in this way, He would be able to move people’s heart little by little.
  3. Concerning the dealing of the self: The Lord exposed and showed my strong flesh and self through my recent fall and loss of temper. After some progresses during the recent years, I thought I have become more mature, but actually I am still immature and much in need of His mercy and divine life. I am still strong-opinionated toward certain things; I still have certain barriers, such as pride, preference, and ideologies, that prevents me from building up with others and from joining in one soul with one another. The reason I thought I have become mature is simply because my self was not touched, for it has become more hidden and finer. Although feeling quite harsh, I thank the Lord for exposing me. On the one hand, I see more clearly the conflicts between people’s flesh, opinion, and self. On the other hand, I deeply feel the  great incapability of my own effort and work before my flesh, and the absolute necessity of the Lord’s life. He and His life are my only cure and medication.
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