• Christ and Church Life and Building Spirit and Bride


    As a lover of Christ and a pursuer of truth, I write down my joys, memories and reflections.

    May God lead us all into the secret of His presence, and build us into the oneness of His body in love.
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A monologue before the training

End of July.

Sever times. Yes, that is how many times I have been there since 2004.
New Jersey, a place so familiar yet still seemingly strange to me.

In 2004, I struggled and consecrated for the first time. Burned yet naive.
In 2005, I began to know His words and I consecrated again. Whoelheartedly.

In 2006, I began to learn how to serve and function in the body. Enjoyably and painfully.
In 2007, I began to see the vision and the oneness. Vaguely.

In 2008, I was fortunate to participate the Lord’s move.
In 2009, I began to realize the vanity of my natural or fleshy effort.
In 2010, I began to see how unreliable and fluctuating myself is.

Tomorrow, I will be heading to the same place, seeing the same people. Yet, what should I expect? Haven’t I consecrated and put everything on the altar? Perhaps. Should I just read my consecration again as re-consecration? Perhaps.

The real answer is I don’t know. After all these things I have gone through and experienced. I can only whisper, Lord, everything is by your mercy and grace. I am nothing, I can do nothing, and I have nothing. All I can do is to look away unto You and give all my trust and sovereignty to You.

There is a lot of uncertainty in myself and in this world, but I am sure of the following: Christ is the Lord of heaven and earth, and He is my King, my Master, and my Captain. He is my center, my goal, and my destiny. I am His slave, disciple, and follower. I belong to Him and He belongs to me. He lives in me and I love and miss Him very much.


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  1. […] A monologue before the training (lambfollower.wordpress.com) […]

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